In looking over my past entries, I realized that I forgot to mention something very important.  I have PCOS.  For those of you who don't know, that stands for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.  It's estimated that 10% of women have it, and they usually don't know they have it until they try to get pregnant and can't.  Because of contributing factors, PCOS makes it harder to lose weight...insulin resistance, diabetes, and hormonal inbalances, just to name a few.  Many women take for granted the fact that they get monthly periods (AF).  But because of this syndrome, AF's can be few and far between...in other words very irregular.  What people don't realize is that by NOT having a monthly AF, hormones go out of control, making any effort at weight-loss challenging to say the least.

For more information about PCOS please visit www.soulcysters.net

This is meant to encourage me to keep going after I've lost some weight and begin to lose my motivation.  Here it goes:

I hate that none of my clothes fit properly.

I hate the dr's constant "concern" about my weight, and how she always goes into detail all of the health problems I'm going to face if I don't lose the weight.

I hate shopping for new clothes...I can never find anything I like in my size.

I hate that the plus size section in the clothing stores are always next to the maternity section.

I hate that people judge me by my appearance alone, and don't bother to get to know me.

I hate my complete lack of energy.

I hate skinny women offering weight-loss "advice" when they've never had a weight problem in their life, and therefore have no idea what I'm going through, or how hard it is to take the weight off.

I hate the constant migraines I'm sure would go away, or at the very least, lessen once I take some weight off.

I could keep going...but I think I'll stop here for now.

I thought I might have been dealing with allergies, since it is so warm and everything is blooming early, but everyone in my family is now displaying the same symptoms, so I think it must be a virus going around.    It takes a lot for me to get sick, but since it's March, and I haven't been sick yet this year, I guess it's my turn to be sick.   

At least I'm doing good on W.W. so far.  I never really stopped thinking in terms of points after I quit last time, so it's been fairly easy to fall back into the habit of keeping a food journal and keeping track of my daily points allowance.  Keeping a food journal makes me more aware of what I put into my mouth, as well as determining if I am actually hungry or not.    Weigh-in is Friday, and I'll post the results later that day. 

So I officially joined WW (weight watchers) for the 3rd time today.  I've tried to follow the program on my own, but I only succeeded in gaining back most of the weight I had lost.    I guess I really need the accountability of having someone weigh me every week, not to mention the support of the other people in the meetings.  3rd times the charm, right?    At any rate, regardless of the number on the scale, I want to be healthy and fit.  If that means being aware of what I eat, and how much, and exercising , then that's what I'll do.

How do you tell when you're sick, or if it's just allergies?  I don't know, but either way, I feel like crud.   Add to this the fact that AF is taking forever to come, which means I've been in a constant state of PMS for about 3 weeks now...headaches, migraines actually, bad mood, achy, and just plain miserable feeling.  When will this nightmare end?!  

Needless to say, sticking to exercise has been very hard, although I have managed to walk on the treadmill 3 times this week so far.   It's so easy to find an excuse NOT to exercise when you don't feel good, but then you say, I'll go on the treadmill, but ONLY for 10 minutes.  After just 10 minutes of walking, I usually feel a little better...not great....just proud of myself for making me do something that's good for me.

For the next week, I'm going to concentrate on exercise.  It's something I truly do not like, but it must be done.  Because I know that I need some sort of incentive to do this task, I did some research and came up with a list of the Benefits of Exercise:

Physical:

-faster metabolism

-greater proportion of body-defining muscle

-shaplier figure/improved appearance

-easier-to-maintain weight loss

-increased strenght and endurance

-protection against bone loss

-more energy

-better flexibility and mobility

-stronger immunity and resistance to disease

-greater cardiovascular fitness

-reduced risk of developing diabetes and some cancers

-less desire to smoke, drink, or overeat

-slowing down of aging process

Physchological:

-sharper mental alertness and conentration

-relief of stress, tension, and anxiety

-brighter mood, less depression

-improved body image/self confidence

-greater self-esteem

-stronger sense of self-discipline

 who knew that exercise could have so many positive benefits?!  But that still doesn't make it fun.

  I, Lisa, commit to no less than 12 weeks of focusing on my health needs.  I will commit to the following guidelines:

  -I will exercise regularly...at least 4 times per week.

  -I will maintain self-control when it comes to eating.

  -I will make healthy food choices by endeavoring to be conscious of when and why I eat.  No more emotional eating.

  -I will endeavor to improve myself both physically and mentally, as both are of equal importance and one is useless without the other.

  Moreover, I believe in my heart that I am worth the time and energy that it will take to remain committed to this contract.